The Ashes

For fans of gore-splattering, motor-driven zombie annihilation, check out the USB chainsaw that’s supposedly bundled together with special edition copies Resident Evil 5. This little gadget reveals a USB-insert chainsaw blade that’s good for cramming about 2 GB of data for on-the-go espionage, subterfuge and world-class humanity-saving. You’ll love plowing through herds of mindless, brain-starving undead minions while accomplishing goals and feeling sweaty about your latest geek-oriented USB toy.

Similar to the Residental Evil 4 Collector’s Edition chainsaw, this newest iteration of a cereal box fantasy is different in that it actually might help you transfer some files in a pinch. You’ll want to find your way to this little toy on the Internet for about 24 American smacks if you consider yourself anything close to a respectable epic-level post-apocalyptic hero.

Also, while you’re at it, you might just want to buy a crash helmet and a hero cape, so that your peers know that you’re completely out of your gourd. Call it an exercise in gaming-induced schizophrenia, a disease towards which we’re all working desperately in our technology-addled new-millennium consciousness.