You are the maid or matron of honor, and it is up to you to throw a bridal shower for your very best friend.
You have known her since the early days of kindergarten, and you have been inseparable for most of your childhood.
You have laughed with her, wondered who liked her in high school, double dated with her, and were as stunned as she was when her beau proposed marriage.
It was only natural that you would be the maid of honor, and you plan on sending her off to her new married life in style! You have been working with the bridesmaids and a time for the shower, a guest list, food, and a location have been nailed down. Now you are wondering about a theme for the party, and you are thinking lingerie – but you hesitate.
How will Aunt Martha react to the display of negligees? How will the bride’s mother take to your notion of giving some very intimate apparel to her little girl, do you really want to rub it in that pretty soon her baby will belong to someone else in more ways than one?
Gauging the bridal shower guests
Gauging the bridal shower guests is no easy feat, and since ideally there is only one bridal shower, it is important to think it through whether running the risk of being risqué is appropriate or maybe should be reserved for a girls’ night out.
Generally speaking, if the guest list for the bridal shower involves older people, especially the bride’s mother or other close female relative, keep the risqué gifts and games on the shelf.
It is inappropriate in this setting and will not only embarrass the bride to be, but also make the experience a trial for the family members who will attempt to sit through what is akin to an insult to their little baby.
If children are present, or if it is possible that children could attend because you neglected to very clearly state on your invitations that the party is for “adults only,” do not run the risk of being risqué. Such behavior in front of children is not only inappropriate, but could also get you in a lot of trouble.
If the groom to be is present, even in the next room, it is not a good idea to have the girls display any behavior that may be considered risqué. This may quite possibly impede any serious interaction he may have in the future with his bride’s friends whom he might only remember as a gaggle of silly geese with a questionable sense of humor.
Another reason to eschew any risqué games or gifts is the bride’s disposition. If she is an active member of her church, turns bright red at certain TV programs, and overall is not in favor of any risqué behavior, it is not a good idea to force it upon her, even if you are doing it in jest or because you feel she needs to loosen up.
This may drive a serious wedge between you and her, and thus should be avoided. You might want to run by her some of the ideas you have and see how she reacts.
On the other hand, if you and the bride are on the same wavelength and she enjoys being a little risqué now and again, then you might want to consider adding some spice to the party.
Obviously, there are no hard and fast rules as to how much is too much. While some guests may turn bright red at some risqué games, others might fade away with the exchange of lingerie. It is therefore a good idea to be risqué “in stages.”
For example, start with a few silly games and see how the crowd does. If you notice that suddenly a few of them are pairing off and having conversations instead of participating in the games, it is a good indication that their threshold is reached.
At that time it would be bad form to bring out the increasingly risqué entertainment that you have planned, and it would be best to just resort to the tried and true games that would make even the bride’s granny happy!