The Ashes

Fuck. Yes. What could be more perfect? An art class with Leonardo da Vinci? Scuba diving with Jacques Cousteau? Pizza with God?

The answer is nothing, nothing could be more perfect than exploring the Galapagos with Alex Trebek. Now there are some of you out there thinking, “What so great about Alex Trebek? He just reads the answers from the cards.” If so, I hope you die by the end of this sentence.

Still here? Well then, why not head over to the Jeopardy! website and enter for a chance to participate in this sublime vacation of the soul? Be warned, however, if I don’t win somehow, there’s going to be a lot of fresh corpses between me and the Galapagos. As many as it takes to build a bridge.

And while we’re on the subject, why not check out Melville’s short story “The Encantadas,” which is a series of sketches about all the failed attempts to colonize the Galapagos Islands. Basically, the whole chain has been forsaken.