I always feel a bit sad when I hear people (mainly women in long term relationships with children ) say they have lost their libido, they just don’t feel like sex anymore. In most cases, after some discussion it becomes apparent that they are only speaking about the act of sex itself and are completely disregarding the pure joy of intimacy which I truly believe is one of the most emotionally satsfying things we as humans can be a part of.
I am not for one minute saying that this is easy to achieve and maintain nor am I suggesting that is is a one sided problem because it isn’t. What I’m saying is that I believe it’s important to address issues of sex and intimacy in long term relationships as soon as there’s a problem. Both couples in any long term relationship NEED to experience intimacy. If you don’t have sex, fine, that’s a different thing all together but intimacy is a must, that is what makes your relationship with each other special AND it is also meets a basic human need – to love and feel loved. The good news is that what will probably happen if you make time for intimacy is that you will have more sex and not just more frequently but more enjoyable. Not a bad result for investing a bit of time for a cuddle!
1.Exercise. Everyday. Go for a walk, ride your bike, go to an exercise class, take up yoga, swim, jog, play badminton, tennis, touch footy, squash, horse riding, triathlons…anything, just do something physical each day.
2.Eat Well. Eating junk food will not make you feel like taking your clothes off and sharing yourselfwith someone. It will make you feel like lying on the couch eating more junk and watching a movie about someone who is taking their clothes off and sharing themselves with someone. Eat healthy, fresh & light and your frisky side will soon wake up.
3.Think good things. The way you think about yourself determines how other people think of you. ie. If you don’t think you are appealing don’t expect anyone else to think you’re appealing, except perhaps for those who think they’re also unappealing which won’t make for a healthy and strong relationship. If you think negatively about yourself it is essential that you take steps to shift this around because self confidence is the most important part of sexuality.
There are professionals who deal with sexual disfunction if that’s an issue but I highly recommend you start with the above. At the very least you’ll feel healthier and happier than you do today and at the very best you’ll be enjoying the most satisfying time of your intimate life. I wish all three things for you.
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